American Life – The Adjustment Cycle
You have left your home, family, friends, food, climate, language and customs. You have to make a lot of adjustments to your new life. International students often go through an adjustment cycle. You start by being very excited about living in a new place and learning about the new culture. Phase Two brings homesickness and often loneliness after the initial ‘high’ has worn off. Phase Three is often anger at all the things you don’t understand and the resulting frustration. And finally you move into phase of acceptance, where you make friends and start to truly enjoy your new life. This adjustment cycle can take days, weeks, months or years – everyone is different – but it’s completely normal and you shouldn’t feel that anything is wrong just because you don’t love every minute that you are here.
If at any time you sense that you are stuck in a psychological low - whether for academic or personal adjustment reasons - do not hesitate to come see us in the Student Services Office. Many of us have experience of living and studying abroad and can help you work through some of your feelings.
Ways to adjust
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Your English may be practically perfect, but stay aware of expressions, idioms and slang that you may not be familiar with. Also listen out for intonation – your and other peoples. The right word said in the wrong way can cause misunderstandings so watch people's reactions in their conversations with you or with others.
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Think about body language – how close do people stand when talking? How much physical contact do people make when greeting each other?
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How do Americans change their communication styles when talking with an instructor? a student? a friend? Ask questions.
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Try not to be judgmental. It is important to avoid labeling everything in the US as good or bad in comparison with your own culture. Try to assess and understand others' opinions before making a judgment.
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Show openness and curiosity. To experience a new culture and to learn from it, it is important to be open to new experiences, try new things, and be curious about the way things are done.
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Use your sense of humor. It is likely that you will make mistakes as you explore a new culture. If you can laugh at your mistakes, learning will be easier.
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Develop a support network. One of the hardest things about being abroad is that you are separated from the network of support you have developed over many years. This closeness cannot be instantly replaced, but making new friends will make life a lot easier.
American culture
Privacy
Americans seem to share a lot about their lives and to be very open, but if you listen to what they are actually saying, you’ll realize that they only share really personal stuff with close friends and family. Don’t end up sharing ‘TMI’ (Too Much Information) with people you have just met. Americans also place great emphasis on privacy. Don’t be too upset if someone tells you they "need some time to themselves". They really do.
Time Orientation
Many Americans love schedules and always seem to be running from one place to the next. You may prefer to take life at a slower pace, but be aware of the importance of reliability and punctuality here. Different activities have different time conventions – you should be late for a party, but on time for an appointment. If you are unable to keep an appointment, you should call the person to advise him or her that you will be late or unable to arrive. Not sure what time to arrive at an event? Ask an American!
Directness
Americans consider themselves frank and open. They also strongly believe in ‘constructive’ criticism, which basically means saying something unpleasant in a nice way and with the intention of helping you. If you come from a culture where you are encouraged to keep your emotions to yourself, this can be a little bit of a shock. You’ll get used to it.
Equality and Informality
The whole point of American society (at least in theory) is equality. No one is considered better than anyone else, regardless of social background, economic or educational levels. One result of this is that Americans often don’t automatically show deference to people of ‘higher’ status. You may be surprised to see your classmates behaving informally with your instructor, but this is completely acceptable and it doesn’t usually indicate a lack of respect. Equally, your instructor may be dressed more informally than you are used to – again this is considered normal in an educational institution.
Friendliness
Don’t confuse the easy, open nature of Americans for deep friendship. When an American says “How are you doing?” he or she is simply saying “hello”. The correct response is “Fine, thanks.” Americans often say things like “I’ll call you soon” or “Let’s get together for coffee sometime.” This plan will probably never happen, not because the person doesn’t actually like you but because this just a way of bringing a conversation to a natural end. You shouldn’t expect a phone call and you shouldn’t take it personally. It can be tough, because you are looking for friendship, but be patient. It takes time to get from “I’ll call you soon” to “I’ll call you on Tuesday so we can decide which movie to see.”